Personal Diary: February 11th, year 115

Today has been a long, complicated and terrifying day; one filled with glory, horror and teachings; one to show the price of success and failure. But, most of all, it was a day of duty.

It all started with the call of Commander Shutaq and Commander Goldcore to organize a fleet and march together to the Bleak Lands. There were many of us rallying under the banner of the Praetoria Imperialis Excubitoris, advancing as one from Sahtogas to Arayar which the Minmatarr had contested. It was strange, gratifying and tense to be again flying in a military squad, ready to face the enemy wherever we may meet them, and secure the hubs needed to defend the Empire.

And meet the enemy we did, no doubt. Our lasers tore through their hulls as my Punisher held them pinned to their position, without the chance to flee. The Amarr Empire rewarded me for the destruction of six hostiles, though I only appeared in the killmails of two of them: captain Stuntmanjr and captain Ryan Cayanne, which I also podded. It's strange to one again see the lasers pierce through the hulls of enemy ships, I thought I wouldn't have the will and strength to do it calmly, and yet, once in the midst of combat, the only thing that remained was the years of training, slowly coming back. Duty guiding the path, the voice of the commanding officer issuing the orders, and enemies falling under our righteous fire.

Terrifying, glorious, exilarating. Only captain Kernher fell in combat, mostly due to the unfortunate event of warping right to where the enemy fleet was assembling.

We prevented the enemies from taking the Arayar system tonight, and reorganized afterwards. Admiral Shutaq transferred to me several ships from the Praetoria's offices, and I noticed all of them have the TES tag. So I took down the INS I was using like in my times in the Imperial Navy. It was harder than I thought, that I must admit, but it was also a relief to now take on the new tag, as appropriate to my current path.

Then, though most of the fleet had to leave by then, Commander Shutaq led me and Zelorr again into the frontlines, to secure Tzvi and then, again, Arayar. We moved swiftly through space, and finally approached the ihub in the contested system, and spread to secure the most number of installations possible as we had before. There was only one wartarget in the system, and didn't seem like he'd come out.

I was wrong.

I entered the novice installation and, just a second behind, in came the enemy ship. Captain Kok Kokovich, a name I'll never forget. We were alone, and my reflexes proved not to be quick enough. I'm still too rusty... lack too much training. My Coercer went down before I could almost launch my drones, and my pod followed soon after.

I woke up back in Amarr. As I dictate this now to the diary, I can still feel my body tremble by the experience of death. My first time through the line. I am still too shaken right now to be able to properly put it to words. It's just...

((Entry recording interrupted after ten seconds of silence.))